Brooding clouds and swollen seas shape and bring life to its vertiginous verdant mountains and their peoples. To look out to sea from any miradouro over the lush subtropical vegetation or orange-tiled roofs is to feel the restless pull of the ocean. The people are unpretentious, genuine and generous – frosty-looking stoicism quickly melts into a warm smile when treated with respect. Seek out delicious snacks and drinks, and you will find them in their simplest and most delicious forms.

So Madeira’s popular – who knew?

But word has got out – this place is over-touristed, and that warm Portuguese smile is definitely a little tight around the edges. And who can blame them? A great grey tidal wave of retiree tourists swamps Funchal when the cruise ships hit port. In just 3 days, 5 ships disgorged 11,000 passengers. German, French and English become the dominant language, and the roads are clogged with rental cars and oblivious pedestrians. On their tight schedules these carrion carry-on luggers pick at the bones of creaking infrastructure to strip their pound of culture-vulture flesh. It’s revolting, and just shows how hospitable and patient Madeirenses are.

We’ve already decided we might well strike Pico do Areeiro off our schedule:

The ‘stairway to heaven’ is the jewel in Madeira’s crown according to Instagram. People are literally dying to get photos of this place. For us, it’s not worth the crowds.

Pavements built for pleasure and cardio

Just spending time getting to know Funchal is worth the flight. Almost every day, we’ve strolled along the spacious promenade and explored the labyrinthine cobbled streets before engaging in our favourite pastime when in Europe – enjoying delicious treats at a pavement cafe amidst the buzz of a vibrant town. The steepness of the streets is unreal – walking up to Livramento without pause and at pace is one heck of a cardio workout.

Every day the forecast is rain. And almost every day there is rain. But either it’s late afternoon when we’re back home or just a passing shower. In-between it’s glorious sunshine tempered to perfection by onshore breezes. I’m either wearing shorts or wishing I was.

Peace and frustration

So far we’ve only got out of Funchal town twice – once to Ponta de São Lourenço, and once to walk a section of Levada dos Tornos. Both were fantastic but polar opposites. Ponta de São Lourenço is wide open with spectacular and wild coastal scenery but is crowded with tourists. Dos Tornos, on the other hand, quietly sneaks through the backyards of Funchal’s upper suburbs before plunging into a peaceful gorge then climbing up to Monte.

The only things these 2 days have in common is that we loved both but struggled to pin-down accurate bus routes and timing. Oh, there’s plenty of information online – all contradictory or outdated – but in Funchal even locals shrug their shoulders because of the mess being made of their buses.